First Things First

China has a long, rich history and a uniquely refined culture.  This culture can be seen everywhere from the elaborate and deliberate tea ceremonies to the cacaphony of distinctive accents hawking various wares along even the most deserted streets.  But it is widely recognized that China's cultural peak, the point at which the various voices carrying its history rise in the grandest harmonies, is its English translations.  For example:

This piece captures the distinctly Chinese, and yet fundamentally human, desire to mold an imagination that is not only brimming with creativity, but that also expresses itself disarmingly and politely.  And what lofty goals this wild-eyed yet friendly policeman presents us with: not only must we practice self-restraint, we must in fact be self-restraint.

The fine art of English translation finds perhaps its truest expression when combined with the art of food.  Though it may seem distasteful, even barbaric, to the Western palate, lettuce child has long been a delicacy in the Orient.  In this case, the popularity of lettuce child evidently led to its price being changed not once, but twice.  Incidentally, ten yuan is a true bargain for such a child.

A distinctly Keatsian cadence and the imagery, I dare say, of a latter-day Whitman.  Who could even pretnend not to be moved?

Full disclosure, this translation is completely accurate.  And completely disgusting.

Of course, no mere survey could ever do justice to the art of English translation, but there will be more to come...

Steve